I spend a lot of time reading and listening to various books. Some are great, and well, some are bloody boring to be honest. However, with over 90gb of the world’s best and most popular material on self help, hypnotherapy, persuasion and sales material to hand, I owe it to my future clients to know this field inside out and upside down. What works, whats popular and what is rehashed bullshit. Future clients won’t have time for this, and why should they wade their way through it all anyway? They, and this means you, want results…the fastest, most effective way possible.

 This will be my job. Yes, the books are there for people to buy, and so are the seminars. What I will be offering however, is highly exclusive, highly individual and personalised service based on the broadest knowledge of the most cutting edge effective skillsets known to man. Thats my plan, and that’s what I plan to have you as an exclusive client come to me for.

However the company is not launched, yet. The skills have to very best I can offer and there is a LOT of special preperation to be done.

 For the moment, I’ve had a little time to think about body language myths that surround the world of self help and communication. The main myth to dispell is the idea of a universal “map” of body language that applies to most people.

The truth is, people are their own “map”, and just like a map of New York does me no good in London, niether does the map of one person help me work out another. Occasionally with very close couples, there’s a little crossover that helps of course. If, however you wish to actually understand the signals coming from another individual, your skills of listening will need to expand greatly to encompass  seeing the flows of movement. Movement in response to what you are saying, and what they are saying or appear to be experiencing.

Gestures occur in clusters, and keen observation is required to spot the patterns that make up this map. In some selling or interview situations, you may have control of the conversation sufficiently to direct the questions. These questions can be used to map out various responses if you are subtle and creative. Questions that are easy and truthful, and questions that are perhaps requiring more thought, can give you a “calibration” or series of marker points in their behaviour. These “markers” are still quite generalised guides however, and a fair degree of discernment is required to accurately determine anything of value.

These techniques are highly developed in skilled police interview specialists, that is if they are highly trained in the first place. Good cold readers may develop these skills to some extent.

Over time I will be setting up a site, with articles that go into more depth, to share with future clients on subjects like these. Body language and people reading in general would be greatly enhanced by a skill that is a pet subject of mine. This is time distortion, where you get an enhanced perception of time passing. Useful for all kinds of things, it has the great side effect of giving the other person that they are the center of your world for the duration of the conversation. This is because, they are of course. As rapport is a two way street, this can only be safely used in win/win scenarios that are 100% honest. Otherwise, you WILL give yourself away :-).

 Until the next article, you may perhaps enjoy the notion of noticing the flows that are so individual from person to person. You may also disagree and notice general patterns that seem to be quite common and appear to mean the same sorts of things too. Test and find out, sometimes you will be right. A good scientist has a hypothesis and tests it out to see if they are right. Sometimes a head resting on fist IS boredom or tiredness, other times its actually attention 🙂

Good day folks.

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